I lost her but i want her

I came to know my friend's heart breaking love story which prompted me to write this. You are unlucky my friend. this is dedicated to you.

Before, 

I was in this world before we met..

I was noticing few who were talking with me, passing by..

I was caring out myself before we met..

I was thinking about my future before we met..

I was worried about my journey, my mates and everyone before we met..

Then,

One day i met a charming girl in my life..

Initially, i was not impressed and was totally ignoring and was scolding her..

Then a day came where i just felt about bad for scolding her and started thinking about her and her career.

I was thinking like i have to carry her on my shoulders..

I started thinking about her day in and day out..

Later,

I finally realized i am in love with her..

I will have a disturbed sleep without her good night message..

I will be worried if i don't receive a reply for a sms from her..

I will be heart broken if she doesn't answer my call.

I realized, i was out of this world because of her..

I couldn't realize even if a beautiful girl is walking beside me because my heart is completely filled with her..

I realized, i stopped caring about my career and only concentrating on her..

I realized, more than my life journey i am bothered her life journey..

Finally,

"Love it or loose it", is my situation now..

I can't ask her to accept my love because i scolded her a lot initially and she is still having that in mind.

I care for her everyday and want to guide her in life, i feel that is the only way i can show my love towards her..

I realized, i shouldn't have scolded her initially and should have shown unconditional love on her..

Now,

Time is totally out of my hands and she tooo...

She doesn't bother much about my well being even though i am worried about hey day in and day out..

I am down and out and i feel doesn't have a second chance..

I don't have anyone except me to blame and god who created me..

God!!!! you are so cruel that you will never give us what we want..

Oh god, you fill up our life with unwanted people and why don't you give me my most wanted girl..

The only alternative i have now is to show my unconditional love towards her and not to expect anything in return..

Have to hope that she someday realizes my love and starts loving me to core..

But for now i can't stop thinking about her in my life...

I want her badly in my life..

Please, god give her back to me..